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To calm your emotions, get 15 minutes alone

Being by yourself—even for just 15 minutes—may decrease your strong positive and negative emotions, and instead reduce stress and induce calm, a new study suggests.

“Solitude can be valuable and useful at times, particularly when we want to switch off for a few moments…”

Lead researcher Thuy-vy Nguyen, a doctoral candidate in clinical and social sciences in psychology at the University of Rochester, together with the cofounders of self-determination theory, psychology professors Richard Ryan and Edward Deci, conclude that solitude can lead to relaxation and stress reduction—as long as people actively chose to be alone.

In general, solitude, the research finds, has a lessening effect not only on arousing positive emotions but also strong negative emotions, ultimately leaving people calmer, more relaxed, less angry, and less anxious.

Previously, the researchers note, alone time has been correlated with social rejection, withdrawal and isolation, shyness, and loneliness. Not so fast, the researchers say.

“Solitude can be valuable and useful at times, particularly when we want to switch off for a few moments,” says Nguyen.

Let solitude ‘speak for itself’

It’s not a simple matter of good or bad when it comes to the emotional effect of solitude, the researchers write. Instead, they observed that solitude changes the “intensity of our inner experience, both positive and negative.” Alone time accentuates low-key emotions, while dialing down stronger feelings.

Growing up in Vietnam, Nguyen says she enjoyed being alone as a child and teenager. Later, her curiosity was piqued when she realized that solitude was generally characterized as either simply good or bad—with a lot of literature pointing to its negative effects.

“When people willingly spend time alone, they reap the greater benefits…”

“I decided to take a step back and just simply look at what solitude does, observe its effect, and let it speak for itself,” Nguyen explains as the starting point of her investigations.

“That’s when I found that solitude decreases both positive and negative affect when I only measured the arousing kind of emotions,” she explains. “I added other low-key emotions in there to see what happens and that’s when we found the deactivation effect.”

In a nutshell, for the deactivating, calming effect to take place a person needs to be alone without any social interactions and without electronic devices. The same calming effect happened when a person was alone and engaged in a quiet activity like reading.

Emotional experiments

The researchers define solitude as “a psychological experience of being alone without communications, stimuli, activities, or devices that might facilitate virtual communications such as text messaging or social media.”

Over the course of four experiments, the collaborators first compared solitude (simply being alone without any stimuli) to people’s experiences in social interactions and found that being alone was more calming. Second, they compared solitude to being alone with a quiet activity, such as reading and found that that, too, was calming.

Third, they compared solitude to the internal stimuli of thinking certain types of thoughts. They found that if participants had positive thoughts, their positive affect was not decreased. In a fourth experiment, the researchers used a switching-replications experiment to examine a person’s active motivation for being alone.

This kind of alone time is linked with creativity

In the three laboratory experiments, study participants sat alone for a quarter of an hour in a comfortable chair, without devices and without any social interaction, assessing their emotions on rating scales before and afterward. The researchers inquired about intense positive emotions (feeling enthusiastic or excited) and intense negative emotions (feeling angry or anxious), as well as low-intensity positive emotions (feeling calm, relaxed) and low-intensity negative emotions (feeling lonely or sad).

In the third study, the team examined the effects of making choices about one’s solitary experience by allowing some of the participants to choose what to think about as they sat by themselves, while others were assigned what to think. Those who chose what to think about had higher positive emotions, such as excitement. Conversely, those study subjects who were told to think neutral thoughts exhibited lowered positive emotions.

Choice is key

Autonomy in solitude—being able to choose what to think about or actively choosing to spend time alone—not only buffered against the negative effects of solitude on emotions, but also improved the beneficial effect of solitude on a person’s relaxation and stress levels.

“When people willingly spend time alone, they reap the greater benefits—something that, of course, has always been a part of ancient wisdom and practices,” says Ryan. “Here we simply demonstrate the emotional changes that account for these benefits.”

How to talk to yourself to control emotions

This finding is directly based on the autonomous motivation principle of self-determination theory, which holds that when individuals perceive greater autonomy in their behavioral choices, the activities yield better outcomes.

In short—those who sat alone for 15 minutes and chose what to think about, or had positive thoughts experienced the positive effects of solitude: feeling calmer, less angry or anxious, without feeling lonely or sad. They also did not lose any of their feelings of enthusiasm or excitement.

The researchers report their findings in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

Source: University of Rochester

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