The holiday season is often a time of reflection, memories, and traditions. But for many, the festive atmosphere can trigger a sense of longing for those lost during the year, including our pets.
“Our pets are an integral part of our families, and we often forget how present they are during the holiday season—from stealing bites of the holiday ham, playing in the snow, or making their way into the holiday newsletter,” says Augusta O’Reilly, a veterinary social worker at the Virginia-Maryland College of Veterinary Medicine.
When a pet is still with you: Coping with ‘anticipatory grief’
For those preparing for one of the last seasons with a pet, O’Reilly says it is common to feel grief even when the pet is still physically present.
“This is called anticipatory grief,” says O’Reilly. “This is the emotional response to an expected loss. This can be crying, thinking about how your pet might not be here next year, or even feeling pressure to make this holiday the perfect one.”
O’Reilly offers several ways to practice mindfulness and make the most of the time remaining:
- Make meaningful memories: Take a holiday photo, create a pawprint ornament, or wrap up a new toy or treat for the pet to open.
- Find quiet moments: Take small moments in between the chaos, such as walking in the snow and noticing paw prints or synchronizing your breathing with your pet’s when things get stressful.
- Mindful petting: Slow down and pet intentionally, noticing your pet’s muscles and texture of the fur.
Honoring a pet who has passed
For those who have already says goodbye, the holidays can feel particularly empty. O’Reilly suggested finding ways to stay connected to a pet’s memory can help navigate the heavy waves of grief.
“Starting traditions now can help us stay connected to our pets, even after they pass on from us, and allow us to continue honoring their memory and the special bond we have with them,” O’Reilly says.
She suggests these specific ways to honor that bond during the holidays:
- Create a special space: Light a candle or create a tiny holiday altar with the pet’s favorite things.
- Include the pet in the decor: Hang ornaments that represent your pet or display past holiday photos.
- Write to your pet: Write about your year and what your pet has missed.
- Give back: Donate time or items to a local rescue or shelter in you pet’s memory.
“As always, grief and a loss of a pet can feel isolating, so please reach out to those who understand and support you,” says O’Reilly.
Source: Virginia Tech
